Little did I know
by samanthademira
Summary: This will definitely feed your imagination! Read Amy's diary and found out more about the thoughts and feelings behind the pretty face
1. Chapter 1

_**Little did I know**_

You know that feeling when you're totally in love with someone, when they like you back, when you stare deep in each other's eyes from across the school's auditorium, when you accidentally bump into each other in front of your locker and then when he asks you out you end your perfect date night with a super romantic kiss? Well trust me I don't. I kissed boys before obviously, like hello I'm not 12 anymore… But I never actually really loved a boy. I never really loved anyone before. Little would I know that this all changed the moment I kissed Karma. And yes, I don't believe it either but I, Amy Raudenfeld, definitely have feelings now.

To tell you the truth, I had never considered even the slightest possibility of me being a lesbian. It just never occurred to me. That's why the whole "Let's be lesbians" thing was so absurd to me. I mean, I am not gay. At least I thought I wasn't. Let me take you back to that life changing moment at our prom queen speech.

"Karma, Amy, is this true?" That what our principal said after Lauren just spilled our whole plan in front of the entire school. Karma looked at me. I will never forget that look, those beautiful eyes, normally sparkling with joy and optimism, were sad and she looked really disappointed. How I felt at that moment is hard to explain. I could not bear seeing Karma like that. And when Karma started with "We can explain" I had to jump in. I had to stop her social suicide that was about to happen. "If we're faking it, would I do this?" And that ladies and gentlemen is probably the most impulsive thing I have ever done in my life. I grabbed her, putted both my hands around her waist and leant in. I kissed her. I kissed Karma. I never felt so complete in my life, I heard noises in the background because everybody was cheering but I didn't even care. Before I knew it Karma slowly pulled away and looked at me. Her sad eyes had lit up again and she said "wow". I was wondering for a sec actually "Did she felt the same way as I did? Was this as mind-blowing for her as it was for me?" All my hopes on that part were crushed when she said "way to sell it". I just stood there, trying to smile but inside it felt weird. So full of feelings I didn't understand. Karma grabbed my sweaty hand and for one time in my life I was so glad that Karma always did the talking because I could say a word.

So yeah, do you understand now why I am so incredibly messed up by this? Kissing your best friend is one thing, but liking it is a whole other matter. I couldn't keep the image of her beautiful face with that cute little smile out of my mind. And those lips, so soft and tender. This couldn't continue right? It was really wrong. When Karma and I were sitting on the bench waiting for the bus that same afternoon, I was going to tell her. Tell her that this had to stop. "Karma, I " that how I tried to start but when she looked at me, when her glowing and happy eyes crossed mine I knew I couldn't. She was so happy, how could I ruin this for her? "Never mind" is the only thing I could bring up.

To be continued….

Did you like it? And do you wanna read more of Amy's diary? Let me know and I'll write the next part!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for reading it! This is my first time writing anything but since I'm hooked on Faking it I thought I'd give it a try! Btw don't be too harsh on the grammar bc I'm not fluent in English :)

BEEP BEEP BEEP, Yea does that sound familiar? Well to me it did unfortunately. But when I opened my eyes I forgot the annoying sound and the thoughts of another boring day at school. I have to be honest with you guys, I had to blink a few times but it was really true. Next to me, in her cute pajamas, was Karma. She smiled at me and oh boy, that cute little smile was enough for me to completely melt inside. But then she looked really weird at me! Maybe I had something in my eye? I felt that my face turned beet red. I tried to feel with my tongue if I maybe had anything between my teeth without her noticing. Then all of a sudden she bended over and kissed me. Like really really kissed me! I felt her soft warm lips on mine, pressing while she slowly opened her mouth. What on earth was happening? I couldn't ignore the warm feeling I had in my stomach but I had to look Karma in the eyes first. I had to make sense of it. I lifted my arm up and Karma took that as a sign. "We can stop if you want to?" she said those words with so much care and I couldn't help myself. I wanted her to continue. I grabbed her head and kissed her passionately on the mouth. She answered my kiss by slowly pushing her tongue into my mouth. I grabbed her hair and I smelled her sweet conditioner between the hot kisses. BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Goddamnit. I knew that it couldn't be true… I threw my alarm clock with all the buildup frustration across the room. It hit Lauren apparently. I certainly didn't mind that. That bitch is blackmailing me. Trying to out me in front of my mom. She knew the whole lesbian thing with Karma was a scam. But hey, I didn't care. As long as Karma is happy. I would do apparently anything for her.

I quickly jumped in some clothes. And of course my mum wanted me to wear something else. At least my stepdad likes my tomboy clothes. And frankly I did too. As I told you before, I never saw myself as a lesbian, ever. But that has changed and I officially label myself "questioning". And while Karma and I were faking being lesbians. I might as well try it out for a little while. And butching it up a bit seemed to make it a whole lot more believable and more important, it made me feel confident.

I hushed to Karma's house where I told her about my crazy stepsister. What she exactly said to me, I can't really remember. I kept looking at her beautiful body. I was way too distracted when she gave me "a handy dossier". I kinda pretended I didn't like it, but secretly I was happy with all the new information I had about lesbians. I decided I had to know a little bit more about Karma's experiences of the kiss. So I blabbed out a few stupid words. "It felt like kissing my sister" Karma responded with "ouch" This got me thinking, maybe she did like it! I tried to hide my curiosity but I think I was really obvious when I told her "It's not like you enjoyed it" to which she replied "I thought you were great" I couldn't help myself but I started smiling like an idiot. She did like the kiss! And just when I was about to continue on the subject, the door opened. Karma's parents. Giving us some kind of organic drink, to celebrate. They even wanted a picture of the two of us to send to Karma's brother! I envied Karma. She had such accepting parents. My mum would probably start crying if I tell her.

As the day went on I got to hold her hand in public kiss her on the cheek a few times and I didn't have to hide my "I'm in love look". For the first time in my life I was happy.

Want to know more about Amy's day? Let me know and I'll keep writing!


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry guys for the long wait, im in the middle of my exams so im really busy but I try and make a new chapter soon. Be easy on me cause im not a writer! This is my first fic and im not fluent in English so my grammer is probably not as good as it should be!

ENJOY

He you guys! The last couple of days were really interesting to say at least. On the night of the homecoming dance I brought Shane over as my pretend date, and that's when I found out. "O this is the perfect night! My daughter is wearing a dress and I have my first reporting assignment" my mother said this in her Texan accent while smiling from ear to ear. "Really mom, that great! Can't wait to watch it!" I answered truthfully happy for her, until I heard what her assignment actually was. From all the little crimes, carcrashes, unfaithful priests and beauty pageants in the region she had to be assigned to cover our homecoming. Hesters first lesbian homecoming queens. I looked at Shane with terror written in my eyes. And I seriously wondered how I was gonna solve this. After I tried to fake a smile for the photo, I ran into the other room and called Karma. We had a quick talk, she would try to stall the dance and I was gonna stop my mom. I ran to the newsvan as fast as I could, with shane hopping in his boots behind me, complaining about the little undercover operation we were doing. I pulled the screwdriver from my bra ( yea I know… purses can be handy sometimes….) and when I was about to slash the tires, karma called. She started to talk but my mind had to wrap itself over the last words she just said "IM HAVING SEX WITH LIAM BOOKER" no karma think about this! No you can't you're mine don't you understand! I tried to stop her with a few disparate words but she hung up. I slashed the tires when heard another van driving away. With my mum. On her way to the dance. Fuck fuck fuck…

Long story short, my mum found out Karma was one of the queens, asked me if I knew about this. She wasn't really mad, she just blamed in on Karma's parents. Oh and I should dial away the sleepovers…. Yea right. The thing I did next required no thinking, I took the other crown and basically told my mom I was a lesbian on live television. Haha you should have seen her face! I felt good actually. Karma said she was proud of me and I couldn't stop smiling. We danced and it felt so good to have her close to me. To feel her arms wrapped around me and her breath brushing my ears. I had to listen to her talk about how she was gonna make liam fall in love with her, which normally would be unbearable. But this time I could handle it! I had Karma close to me.

When I came home my mom and bruce were sitting in the living room, waiting for me. Lauren wasn't at home, thank god she was staying at her boyfriends tonight. "Amy come sit here for a minute will you" my mom asked me. O god I have to be honest with you guys, when my mom is mad she screams but that's it. When she is really serious she asks me to sit down politely… so yea I was kinda worried about what was about to come.

I sat on my bed and stared at the stars Karma and I sticked up there when we were little. I was thinking about what my mum said. No way I was going to agree to their proposal. A year to Christian anti gay camp?! What was that for pathetic way to treat your kid? I didn't know what to do so I sneaked out and went to Karma's. Maybe she knew what to do about it….

AN: what is gonna happen next? Tell me what you want or think is gonna happen!


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